Hi there.
Here’s a quick update on my life. I currently am on weight watchers again and am goinf to a trainer once a week. I’m starting this week going 3-4 days.
Cw: 165.2
Gw:135
Next goal:160
Points allowance: 28 pp
Let’s see what I can do when I push myself.
I realized that I am empty. I don’t really know who I am or who I can trust or who really cares about me anymore. It’s terrible being here again but even more terrible that no one is around to catch me. I lost three best friends for such miniscule reasons. And they are happy.
I want to be strong and be happy but I don’t see how that could be. Is this what I was warned of? Being part of a industry that just drains you and rips you apart so much that nothing really matters? Is this how We are able to be “strong”? Are these impressive human beings just tortured abandoned souls that just decided to finally create their own happiness and leave everything behind to find just that?
Nothing is worse than feeling alone than actually being alone. So I hope you’re happy. You got what you wanted. I’m destroyed and have lost my way and am absolutely miserable everyday.
I’m sticking it out a little longer to see if anything improves but all I really want is just to pull the plug and start over on the disgusting life.
